|
So the other day I went to the supermarket, and I was there for literally 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi lover. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires!
So I then asked him if his psychiatrist makes him lie face down on the couch cause he's so ugly. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I insulted him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.
--------------------------------
| Heart Attack |
A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack!
"Help me dear," she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I'm dying over here and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly. "No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through." |
| Bosses wife |
|
Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I
really
sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work."
The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you
today.
When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me
sex. That
makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I
feel
great. I be at work soon......... You got nice house.
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The Computer Comfort Bracelet
